Two of my friends are dads. These are dudes I've known since I was a kid, and now they have kids of their own. They've procreated. Gave forth to life. It's madness, at least to me, as it appears quite natural and dare say normal, to them. Watching them interact with these mini versions of themselves is always an experience. You see guys and their little kids all the time, in malls, restaurants, parks, etc., but it's different when the fathers are your buds, ya know? It's no longer foreign. These guys are the same age as you are, they're your peers and equals, but in such different stages of life. Madness.
I hung out with both of them today and one of their kids, the cutest little half-Philipino baby girl with the biggest eyes you've ever seen. The two of them shared stories about their respective deliveries and other assorted baby matters, and it was SO WEIRD. They're super stressed with the whole baby thing, financially, emotionally, lack of sleep, slobber on their clothes, but you can just see in their eyes that it's so worth it. They love it. And I can totally see why, when I watch them with their kids. It truly is a beautiful thing.
Do I envy them? Yes, and no, but one thing that's certain for me, is that I'm not ready for that. I feel like I'm just becoming aware that I'm no longer a kid. A delayed adolescence of sorts. I guess that's what adulthood boils down to. This MASSIVE realization, that childhood is over. Everything you've been so far, dead, in a sense. And it hurts. It really does. Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who feels this way, but sooner or later, I think everyone goes through it, b/c we're all hurting. But when I see my friends with their kids, I see something, good. I see respite. I see beauty, and I see love. I guess all of this newfound hurt brings with it a new kind of appreciation, for everything. To quote a much maligned movie, "the sweet is never as sweet, without the sour." Perhpas Mr. Crowe knows something about something after all.
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